We humans make judgments on just about everything that comes into our view. We judge ourselves when we look in the mirror in the morning. We judge our friends by the cars they drive. We judge strangers by the clothes they wear. We judge incessantly beyond the borders of our minds.

All judgment causes some kind of pain, anguish or trepidation within and without a person.

The late comedian, George Carlin, said, “I love humanity; it’s people I can’t stand.”

“Judgments expose the lesser self in our being.”

When you judge someone else, you maintain the illusion of being right. You pretend to know more about another person than you know about yourself. Your self-righteous air sends specific emotional vibrations into the universe around you and, eventually, those vibrations return to you with a vengeance.

Judgments go hand-in-hand with conflict: Religions judge other religions. Races assess other races. Social classes critique other classes. The rich arbitrate against the poor. The educated condemn the uneducated. The beautiful degrade the plain people.

But let’s get down to ourselves and how to move out of one of the most destructive aspects of human nature: judging others in comparison to ourselves.

Let me make one point certain: Everyone on this planet paddles his or her canoe to the best of his or her abilities. Just as you may experience ups, downs, happiness and tragedy in your life—the rest of humanity walks that same path with you.

Sure, you enjoy preferences in your life. You wish everyone thought, acted and behaved like you. In your youth, you may have identified with school intellectuals, or the smoking crowd behind the parked cars in the school parking lot, or the sports stars in your high school. No matter which path your fellow humans take, each holds pitfalls, snares and downsides. Each chosen path also offers positive opportunities.

“ …the negative vibrations condemn the judge and the one judged.”

Some of your judgments may be offhanded remarks like, “She’s fat,” “Her hair looks terrible,” “Looks like her grandmother dressed her,” “Look what the cat dragged into school,” and 100 other comments.

Some judgments might be vicious like, “I heard Cindy went all the way with Randy the football team captain.” “Did you hear about Jack being caught cheating on his test?”

When anyone speaks poorly of others, it insulates that person from their “target,” i.e., the one subjected to the judgment. It matters little whether they hear it or not, find out about it or not. At the same time, such thinking blocks us from our own humanity. Judgments expose the lesser self in our being. Essentially, judgments might be defined as “high-level fear wearing a mask.”

When we make hurtful judgments, we call in more pain upon ourselves. Whomever might hear our judgments must decide to agree or disagree. If the victim hears them, that person must deal with the bias, prejudice or pain at their frailties being pointed out. No matter what, the negative vibrations condemn the judge and the one judged.

Say you see someone suffering from obesity. It could be someone begging on a street corner. It might be someone in school failing a class. It could be someone experiencing a divorce. Become aware of the moment. See each person in a new light. Instead of a judgment, thought or comment, forgive yourself and bless the other person—perhaps with a prayer or tranquil thought that blesses them on their life journey. Release your lesser consciousness. Evolve toward your highest and best mindfulness. With that “fat” person you see ringing up your groceries, you might pick out her set of earrings or necklace for a genuine compliment. “Miss, those earrings look fabulous on you… I just love that sapphire necklace you’re wearing.”

Suddenly, that person lights up, smiles and graciously feeds back to you the positive energy of her universe to yours.

When you compliment someone rather than condemn him or her with judgment, you bestow intrinsic truth that infuses everyone with joy. You call upon your greater good to mesh with their greater good. Finally, you create a better world, especially with you in it.

Frosty Wooldridge is an environmentalist, mountain climber, scuba diver, dancer, skier, writer, speaker and photographer. He has bicycled 100,000 miles on six continents and seven times across the United States. His feature articles have appeared in national and international magazines for 30 years. You can find his many books and other info at HowToLiveALifeOfAdventure.com