Our Daisy has experienced her first Christmas with us, and because of her antics, I couldn’t help but put her experience to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” But, first, let me explain the lyrics, in order.
1. Daisy was given a hedgehog plush toy, billed as a favorite with dogs. She tossed it in the air lovingly, pounced on it, chased it across the floor, and generally treated it as a favorite toy. Then she ripped out its guts and demolished the squeaker. The husk—a sad-looking, empty fur rag—she kept in her bed.
2. She went shopping outside one day for something to do; found a couple pinecones partially frozen in snow and mud, dug them up and brought them indoors. She decided the foot of our bed was the place to chomp them to bits, leaving a soggy spot littered with pinecone bits and mud.
3. One day, we were alerted by Daisy to the presence of moose in the yard. Daisy does not take a casual view of their visits. She races through the house, watching them from every window angle, barking furiously. Long after they’ve ambled on, she is sure they’re still out there threatening life and liberty.
4. Each week, Hubby’s and my work schedules are four 10-hour days, which means Daisy has to wait for us to return… all day long. Four days of waiting.
5. Daisy’s vigilance at keeping track of the outside means that she must make the rounds of all the windows within reach. This routine encompasses five windows, which she liberally decorates with nose prints, tongue smears and bark splatter.
6. The 6-inch escape space refers to her astounding car escape from just 6 inches of rolled-down window. The bellringers held her until we could leave Walmart and get her safely back to the car, where we reduced her window space to 3 inches.
7. The area surrounding our house is covered in trees, and with that comes squirrels. Once outside, Daisy runs and leaps through the bushes, scattering squirrels, who routinely climb for cover and chastise her from the upper branches.
8. Eager for freedom each morning, while starting the cars or shoveling, Daisy is allowed to accompany Hubby out front. She uses her time wisely, making at least eight fast laps in a wide loop through the trees, past the garage, around the propane tank and behind the trailer.
9. In an effort to keep our Daisy girl calm while we are away, we stream DogTV. So, four days a week, she is exposed to nine hours of dog-friendly programming.
10. We discovered that Daisy loves homemade gingerbread cookies. She is so keen on the taste, that she openly begs for small tidbits, her tail swishing the floor. She’s shared at least 10 cookies over this Christmas season.
11. A friend of mine gave me a good tip for keeping our Daisy occupied while we’re away: Save toilet rolls and before you leave, put tiny treats inside and fold the ends. She destroys it to get at the little pile of treats, of course, but the damage is limited to one toilet roll’s worth of cardboard. I can deal with that.
12. In case you were wondering, the Christmas tree was not spared her attention. As the season wore on, we found more and more ornaments stolen from the tree. We wisely put only plastic, non-precious ornaments within her reach, but one of the ornaments she stole, she broke open releasing quite a lot of glitter into the room. We’re still finding glitter after vacuuming repeatedly.
“As the season wore on, we found more and more ornaments stolen from the tree.”
So now that you are armed with the backstory of each line of lyrics, I invite you to clear your throat and sing my version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”—this one with a Daisy twist.
On the 1st day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, a Hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 2 pinecones and a Hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 3 moose a grazing, 2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 4 days of waiting, 3 moose a grazing,
2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its
fun squeak.
On the 5th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 5 windows slobbered, 4 days of waiting, 3 moose a grazing, 2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 6th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 6-inch escape space, 5 windows slobbered, 4 days of waiting, 3 moose a grazing,
2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its
fun squeak.
On the 7th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 7 squirrels teasing, 6-inch escape space, 5 windows slobbered, 4 days of waiting, 3 moose a grazing, 2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 8th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 8 laps in driveway, 7 squirrels teasing, 6-inch escape space, 5 windows slobbered,
4 days of waiting, 3 moose a grazing,
2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its
fun squeak.
On the 9th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 9 hours DogTV, 8 laps in driveway,
7 squirrels teasing, 6-inch escape space,
5 windows slobbered, 4 days of waiting,
3 moose a grazing, 2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 10th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 10 bites of gingerbread, 9 hours DogTV, 8 laps in driveway, 7 squirrels teasing, 6-inch escape space, 5 windows slobbered, 4 days of waiting, 3 moose a grazing, 2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 11th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 11 treats in toilet rolls, 10 bites of gingerbread, 9 hours DogTV, 8 laps in driveway, 7 squirrels teasing, 6-inch escape space,
5 windows slobbered, 4 days of waiting,
3 moose a grazing, 2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its fun squeak.
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Daisy gave to me, 12 stolen ornaments, 11 treats in toilet rolls, 10 bites of gingerbread, 9 hours DogTV, 8 laps in driveway, 7 squirrels teasing, 6-inch escape space, 5 windows slobbered, 4 days of waiting, 3 moose a grazing, 2 pinecones, and a hedgehog without its fun squeak.
