“Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same… ” Patty Loveless sang it so sweetly in 1993, and I remember my mother and I sharing a glance when it played on the radio. She had moved to Texas, of all places, to live with her husband, and the song was such a good reflection of our lives at that time. Even though it was a difficult transition for me to accept her new home away from Colorado and away from me, I still, very much so, wanted to have a close relationship with her. We, too, knew that life was about coping with change, in every form, and that we would have each other. These small moments in time, in our relationships, are the core memories we hold forever in our hearts. And certain songs, like familiar scents or places, bring us right back to those memories.

Music memory: The Jackson 5 Victory Tour came through Denver in September of 1984—yep, 40 years ago. Almost more than the concert itself, I remember sitting in our living room and my parents announcing that we were going to see Michael Jackson. This was like, the greatest moment of my 10-year-old life! And then they indicated that we had tickets to the Jackson 5. What? Who is that? Who cares? I couldn’t believe it. Eventually, I regained my child-like composure and later enjoyed the not-so-Billie-Jean-music on the top level of Mile High Stadium. When I hear Michael Jackson’s music to this day, I often think of the horrific face my parents had to witness when they told me about this wonderful gift. It makes me giggle now, and I recognize the same face on my children when they don’t share the same fondness/excitement for an upcoming family outing.

“Think of all the untold stories that our parents and grandparents were not able to share because no one asked.”

Scent memory: Are you one of those people who loves the smell of pavement after a rain? It takes me back to my grandparents’ lake house for some reason. It just immediately transports me to that place. And thankfully it’s a good place. Carefree summers at the lake with glass lake water, a perfect reflection of the clear sky. The frozen turtles basking on the rocky water’s edge, and the toads croaking at night that would lull me to sleep. It seemed like the cement boat ramp was always wet in Kansas as it permeated that weird damp smell—a smell that brings me a little comfort and sweet memories.

Cherishing memories: One of the cutest new social media trends on Instagram is posting “Core Memories.” This concept was shaped from “Inside Out”—a super cute cartoon movie about a young girl’s emotions. What a fantastic way to preserve our own experiences, travel adventures, personal growth and our children—forever young. To think, if only I had a smartphone when my kids were young and all the Core Memories I could have preserved. The first steps, birthday cake face, evening cuddles on the couch with Funpa, and dove hunts in the fields with our dogs. It would be magical to have all those memories saved on my phone/laptop/cloud so I could waste away an afternoon simply remembering the glorious times of my life. If you are as obsessed as I am with Instagram, you’ve already watched or created your own Core Memories. It’s a guilty pleasure, but also a creative way to hold onto the best days of our lives.

Making memories: This past week I had the pleasure of attending a conference where John C. Maxwell spoke about leadership. He discussed his first meeting with John Wooden, a famous basketball coach and inspirational leader highly regarded for his influence in personal and business growth. Mr. Maxwell arrived at the meeting with 126 questions for Coach Wooden about his books, life and coaching experiences. To be able to sit and listen to this story of one distinguished person in awe of another was quite moving. It left me feeling thoughtful of my own experiences and memories with some of my favorite people. Mr. Maxwell shared several of the questions he asked Coach Wooden, and others whom he has met with over the last 50 years…

1. What is the most important lesson of your life?

2. How has failure shaped your life?

3. What are you passionate about right now?

4. What are you reading or what have you read that I should read?

5. Who do you know that I should know?

6. What have you experienced that I should experience?

7. How can I serve you?

How brave it is to ask questions like this of people we know and admire. Think of all the untold stories that our parents and grandparents were not able to share because no one asked. What if we started today? What if we asked these questions and developed deeper relationships, grew personally and challenged ourselves to think differently? I would encourage you to step forward this month and ask one person to lunch. To ask them questions they may have never been asked—to share something they’ve wanted to share and create a new core memory with the person brave enough to ask!