I’m not really sure where I stumble across these, but “somewhere on the internet” is going to have to suffice for an answer this month. If it amuses me and I think I want to share it with readers, I copy it into a folder at the time; and when it’s time to write this column each month, if I don’t have a burning subject begging to be expressed and delved into from the inner core of my subconscious, I just open the folder and pick.
This list struck me as a great combination of humor, simplicity and some good old-fashioned guidance that could be applied to many situations as one walks the winding path of life.
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain Dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.