What You Can Do About Personal Grief
During your journey on Earth, you face incredible moments of joy, challenge and discomfort. You never know where those “moments” may originate, or for how long.
In your life, you may face an accident, loss of a loved one, disintegration of a friendship, or a disease of some kind. A famous philosopher said, “Life is a spiritual boot camp. You will be tested. You must make good choices to thrive.”
A small child may be better prepared for life’s “boot camp” moments than adults. They don’t think so much about their predicament or feel sorry for themselves. They battle onward with their body, mind and spirit. They gather around them their family and friends. They feel love. They give love. They forgive. They watch the ground, but they look toward the future.
It’s been said that if you’re going to hell, don’t invite me, and remember never to stop for tea. Avoid feeling sorry for yourself.
As a former hospital medical tech, I met a child named Paula in the cancer ward enduring her chemotherapy sessions.
“How does it feel after your chemo treatment?” a family friend asked Paula.
“It feels like an earthquake inside my body,” she said. “It shakes my bones and turns my stomach to vomit.”
“How do you deal with it?” the family friend asked.
“I hold the sky,” said Paula.
“Life offers you a dance. Pick your songs.”
As you grow into adulthood, you gain the power of consciousness. You grow into an understanding of how the world works and how you can choose to work in the world. Keep your life simple, pure and unobstructed by maintaining positive thoughts, ignoring negative opinions, office chatter and petty politics. Keep an eye out for elegance such as authentic beauty and natural expression. Sit under a mighty oak tree for peace. Lounge by a gurgling brook. Gaze at the wonder of a sunset. Hold hands with a friend. Create a renewed perception of life by embracing it, enjoying it and standing in its abundance.
I’m reminded of a 65-year-old man who lamented to his wife, “Back when I was 24, I was broke, lived in a crummy apartment and drove a junker, but I dated a hot chick and rode a motorcycle.”
His wife piped up, “I was that hot chick, and you married me.”
“Yes dear, now I’m living in a $500,000 home, drive a Lexus and ride a Harley,” he said. “But no more hot chicks.”
“Dear,” she said, “if you want, you can date a hot chick again, but I’ll make sure you go back to living in a crummy apartment, driving a clunker and riding a bicycle.”
Moral of the story: enjoy each moment of your life and celebrate its abundance. It could change on you in ways you never imagined. Your attitude and choices respond to the “Law of Attraction.”
One night over a beer, my friend John related his story of a wildly successful life that he gained and lost by his self-destructive actions. He visited a preacher to ask for counseling. He told the preacher that he was about to suffer his third divorce and lose his fourth business.
“How about your relationship with your mom?” asked the preacher.
“Always good,” John said.
“What about your dad?” the preacher asked.
“Not so good,” said John.
“Tell me,” said the preacher.
“Well, my dad used to get drunk and mean,” said John. “He knocked me around, but then, next day, he brought home gifts and apologized to me. Then, he got drunk a few days later and smashed all my gifts. It broke my heart because I couldn’t escape his anger. I’d forgive him, but he repeated his vengeance.”
John started crying, “Oh my God! I have built up businesses and marriages only to destroy them just like my dad cycled through his drunkenness, apologies and gifts… I repeated his mistakes…. ”
The preacher noticed the weight of an emotional truck fall off John’s shoulders. John rewound his life in those few moments. He decided to live by spiritual, intellectual and physical balance. He decided to strive for happiness through conscious living and choices.
“Create a renewed perception of life by embracing it, enjoying it and standing in its abundance.”
In the end, let your goal become a living relationship with yourself. That, in turn, will attract loving relationships with others. Face the day with joy for being alive. Live in the moment. Breathe it into your being.
Life offers you a dance. Pick your songs. Make your move toward joy. What about little Paula with chemotherapy causing an earthquake in her body? Today, she holds up the sky as an artist who paints landscapes. Live and paint in your own panoramas. Hold up the sky and inspire others to do the same.
Frosty Wooldridge is an environmentalist, mountain climber, scuba diver, dancer, skier, writer, speaker and photographer. He has bicycled 100,000 miles on six continents and seven times across the United States. His feature articles have appeared in national and international magazines for 30 years. You can find his many books and other info at HowToLiveALifeOfAdventure.com
